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Being mutually, sun and flower
most fully live
A few years ago I was convinced that through life, fully active, you can only go back on its feet ... I could never even stand up ... Get sick, because of muscle atrophy that gradually deprives me of mobility.
For 25 years I tried to avoid people because I felt like a freak, which simultaneously arouses an unhealthy curiosity and offends one's sense of "good taste". For this reason, never imagined that I could go outside my apartment, on the a wheelchair. It reminded me of the curse, which should be ashamed and hide.
Then my only companion was a science. Most importantly, because it is, for me, I wasted no life, it would not have passed away without any trace left behind good by me.
that period especially appreciate the correspondence with the head of the Institute of Physics - Military University of Technology. He even invited me to an international scientific conference to Jurata. It was a very "tempting" proposition, because in addition to meeting with a group of eminent scientists, could also, for a week, relax in the exclusive holiday resort by the sea.
Unfortunately, I had to give up this trip, because the stranger was a volunteer and I did not know anyone who could go with me as a volunteer.
That sense of loneliness was the most annoying for me, probably because everyone wants to feel needed someone so that our lives are not They brought in a vacuum, but that was a source of enrichment, enjoyment and development for the other person. Therefore, the greatest tragedy is not itself a disability, infirmity, loneliness but ...
It is not just about talk to myself or to have some company, but I think we need another man to him and through him to know the truth about ourselves and our reality. The more we are not indifferent to each other, but we want the other person, the more we become such special mirrors in which we find your own thoughts, possible answers to our questions, and even the way our life ...
but I was hard to believe that I will find friendship, because in our society tend to be more "normal" is the relationship such as a drunk, a jerk, selfish ... than with a disabled boy ... Not everyone, because he realizes that sometimes more can be hidden disability, moral or ethical than physical frailty. This is particularly evident, however, so I was afraid the lack of acceptance and rejection.
I did not know then that it is more important than what affects us, is our attitude to these experiences, and their survival is conditional upon the values that are most important to us and which define the meaning and purpose in life.
My life began to change when I realized that faith should not rely on blind expectation of what I think would be good, but of the Faith must come trusting confidence that anything would happen to the will of God is always good, because he has their deeper reasons ...
Later, this belief also confirmed to me my glasses. Humanly speaking, it is evil, because the limited vision, pregnancy, interfere. However, they were my data to make a much greater good, to save my eyesight, and even life ...
was when I came back, by train, with my friend from the camp by the sea. I was lying then, in the range, across the seat, over which is the shelf. It was at large, umbrella hood with a sharp spike ... My friend took something from the shelf and zawadziła about this umbrella ... I saw it fall, including tip, straight into my eye, but I could not even move his head. The real miracle was that the glass did not break the glasses. Spitz umbrellas slipped through the glass and I just cut the skin on the nose.
not difficult to imagine what would have happened without his glasses - broken eye, brain damaged ...
I think this experience is proof that God knows what is good for us. However, he could do good, even with my disability, he first had to accept it, accept it, I had to trust him ...
Unless I missed to say "YES", then I lived in a constant dilemma, between the fight with what was given to me, and the most full and active life, including the state in which I am.
At that time one of the few people who visited me were my teachers. This is what they are familiar to me, then back to the cleric, Jurek, who after his ordination, he celebrated in my room, Mass. - Prymicyjną.
was a turning point in my life. That, because of the Lord Jesus himself made present in my room. When I accepted Him in Holy Communion., In two forms, with my eyes flowed tears of joy and emotion. I experienced then so incredible and all-embracing love of God, that I think that it is in heaven is as good as I was then and is still sometimes when I meet with the Lord Jesus in the Eucharist.
This Mass allowed me to believe that if God wants to be with me, my life must have meaning and significance ... perhaps also for other people ...
It is in the light of faith, I realized that when Jesus healed, multiplied bread, the crowds followed him, but whether they were his friends? Is used only that they might somehow be useful? While on the road almost all the cross left him ... Remained with him only those who could truly love. It gave me hope that maybe I meet these people for whom disability is not the horrors from which to escape, but see it as a challenge to grow toward that which in man is most human ... and yet God.
I started, so open up to people and go out to them, initially through my publications in journals. In response I wrote to people who are not limited to what is superficial, because they can see with their hearts ... In this way, in the darkness of my solitude, the first star shone friendship. Often write off a person who, despite physical zagubiły full faith in the meaning and value of your life ...
few letters usually suffice, or a meeting to gradually flourished in them the joy and beauty of life. I could only give them the understanding, acceptance, conversations, common walks, or the opportunity to help me. This, however, gave them a sense that someone is needed, they can do good in this odnajdywały what is most important in life ...
One student, after a meeting with me, she wrote:
joy that you have a - such a real and profound - it is for me a constant example of how to live. If today I am different, better - thanks to you. Someone once said that the examples involve looking at you and still so much to learn ... Discover the true beauty of life ...
These words gave me hope that disability is only as evil as far as limited in doing good, and yet its source is God who works through our heart and mind. Therefore, I can even offer a warm friendship, which can be enriched by the shared experiences, and what constitutes our inner life. Convinced, as I am that I really live for as much as exist for other people, but only to a Friend can also exist in what is deepest in us, yet most sensitive. I think we are like the flowers here, who want to expand the bud, to show its interior, but to make this possible, they must be surrounded by light and heat. Perhaps that is what the secret of happiness, that is each for himself the sun and a flower that blooms in the warm gaze, in a bright smile, in a good word, a kind gesture, a touch of warm acceptance of ...
Thanks to this relationship, with time, I no longer ashamed of my disability. I no longer wanted to hide in my apartment, but I wanted to go - often very winding and bumpy - road of my life. Just because I find them the most precious treasures: happiness, goodness and beauty, which are the source of love and friendship. These are the only treasures that will not pass away, but will remain in our hearts and forever will enrich us ... Because regardless of external circumstances and even though the inert body, life, in fact, takes place in the us ... in our hearts ...
still vivid in my memory are the moments when they first came out in a wheelchair outside the house and I could stand under a tree, listen to the noise, touch the rough bark. I could touch the grass, to break it a little, sniff ... Juicy, fragrant, green grass - for other prosaic everyday life, and for me life, nature, beauty, tranquility, joy .... I think that often we stop to appreciate something for us very important, just because spowszedniało us. Only the loss of this value tells us how much has been given to us and how little we are able to appreciate and enjoy this ...
It was very important for me is that I know the problems of people who have seemingly nothing to happiness is not lacking, but the inside face of enormous difficulties. It helped me appreciate everything I have, what I can, that, in general, I enjoy the gift of life! For its beauty was found in the fact that it does not pass through it as through a flat, monotonous valley, but it is a unique mountain trail. It happens that sometimes we find a high and steep hill that is too difficult to defeat them alone. While walking with friends you can count on their help, to follow still further .... where are the dreams of the horizon ...
I do not want, so stand in the place, because then zmarnowałbym his life, but I would like to find a way, which is about the uniqueness of my life and leads to its purpose. So with time I wanted to go to a rehabilitation fixed period, for 2 weeks so I can enjoy the closeness of nature, and meetings with people. This became possible to include thanks to my wolontariuszce - a colleague who wanted to accompany me as a babysitter. They were for us a completely new experience, so the trip was related to the many concerns, among others. whether this 19 - year old girl will cope with all my care? We were told that we were crazy, going to camp together ...
I am glad, however, that gave up this "normality", which condemned me to imprisonment, in your room ... For, in order to grow and develop must still exceed the boundaries of own fears and weaknesses that exist, primarily in our minds, in imagination, fears, complexes ....
Many such barriers, I managed to break through the various camps, which showed me what it is voluntary, and were sometimes a great adventure and mutual enrichment. I still enjoy amazing experiences gained when, for example mountain bike trails, which only someone completely insane would choose in a wheelchair.
After passing one of these breakneck trails I heard the words that could say a lot of people looking for happiness and fullness of life only on the tip of his nose, and they find nothing but emptiness ...
These words sounded something like this:
You know Jack, if I came here alone, it would be something routine - no matter. However, by the fact that I helped you, my joy and satisfaction is much higher, because I enjoy the fact that contributed to the fact that you are happy, being in this beautiful place ...
I think that these people - volunteers, they discovered the truth that the joy and meaning in life can be found only if you are looking for all the good that we can do for other people.
Probably for this reason that God created man because He is love, and love blossoms only in relationship with another person, because it is the desire to give himself for the good and happiness of others. So love can not exist without the other person, just as fire can not exist without air can be a potential love, just as a candle can be used to ignite the flame, but this is not possible in a vacuum.
Nothing is worth the same ability to love, unless it is carried out in relation to other people.
So I also do not want to be limited only to receive help, but I would like to leave behind a trail of love - the good that will do for another man ...
why I make such websites: www.przyjaciel.info , to show that we volunteer to help a disabled person, to go even the slightest stretch of the pilgrimage, which is every day life. .. Unfortunately, not everyone is aware that it was in just such a relationship can get to know the new face of happiness: when you see radiating joy and gratitude eyes, where you will find a reflection of your heart ...
usually hardest to make this first contact with a person with a disability, because it is like the entrance to a slightly different, mysterious world. It must be remembered that the discovery of the unknown can be exciting and enriching. It is also a chance to not only be limited to passive observation of life, which often expresses itself in the fact that people would like to help to some "disabled" from soap operas, and forget about a neighbor in a wheelchair, who sometimes needs help, or the presence of a second man.
Probably obstacle is often a fear here a "entanglement is." However, I think, not only for me, every relationship has a meaning so far as each meeting is a reciprocal gift offered from the heart, in full freedom, as far as you can find in that his joy and satisfaction, how much you through me, and I through you we can mutually develop and enrich.
why I try to contribute to overcoming the barriers, which are primarily a source of lack of knowledge and understanding.
I think I should share my experiences, writing, among others. the good with which to meet, because sometimes, especially young people, just follow bad examples, because they do not have positive patterns, with whom they can identify with.
probably true for people lacking good witness to the influence of violence emanating from the screen, spiritual emptiness, primitivism, do not lock themselves in their homes and themselves, but have the courage to go out to another person, such as through volunteering.
So much frustration, modern man, comes from the fact that we miss the person for whom it would not be the most important world - material things, success, career, but the second man ... Many people would like to give myself, I want to do some good, but often are treated as objects to be used, not as people to love ... Perhaps, lacking in all appreciation, or the attitude of gratitude for the fact that you want to be for me, and I for you ...
example is my friend, who was in a big barrier, and even fear for people with disabilities. She did not know how to behave towards a person in a wheelchair? What to say? Feared, or not hurt some awkward word, gesture or wrong? She wanted to break, however, limiting it to those concerns. Established, so to me first correspondence knowledge, and then went as a volunteer at my camp. Later, she confessed to me:
wondered that helping you is not a problem, and even found in the joy and satisfaction. Now I know that volunteering and friendship with a disabled person can help in this, that we rise above our problems and limitations, to have awakened our hearts... our sensitivity ... This gave me a greater sense of meaning and value of my life, which now perceive as precious and unique gift...
This testimony is an example of that in every man lies a potential for good, but only by opening ourselves to God and other people, it has a good chance to develop in us, and can make this world a better and more beautiful .. .
Relacja z konkursu Centrum Wolontariatu Rozmowa o Wolontariacie
Jacek Ryng
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